Million Dollar Listing (2006- 2008)

Watch this and you'll think Real Estate is hot again. Forget about affordable living or "the dream of owning your own home", this is about ridiculous houses for ridiculous money. I'm running on the assumption that is this the top tier of "those little people that sell other people's houses for them" centered, of course, in equally top tier Southern California.

Every minute is people worrying about shit. Worries about how sharply they are dressed. Worries about finding the right fit in whatever shit they're pandering to. Worries about playing buddy-buddy with the fellow brokers. Worries about the rate of progress in life. Holy shit, follow the story for more than 20 minutes and this bullshit actually starts to matter.


Hair is scary and gay. Most of the time more gay than scary.

Rating: 50%

Star Trek 11 Trailor (2009)

As a promotional bid attached to Quantum of Solace, came the first look at the speculative new Star Trek movie. This trailer contains clips of heavy space battle action and a hip new cast of new young characters, most notably a "young Spock" and John Cho, as part of the rebellious new cast.
What's the idea here? This movie will take Star Trek in a new direction with a blank slate. All that Trekkie shit you hate is gone. All the components that you like about Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek is also gone. There's just a little problem: Who gives a shit about TOS?

(2006)

For some reason, Hawaiian cable television has a lot of movies about being on the ocean. This must be Oceanic Time Warner's attempt to appeal to the experiences of the audience, and features classics like Castaway and movies about nuclear submarines. Into the Blue may look like a movie for retard surfers and beach bums but firmly caught my interest. When a drug cartel messes with Sea Skippy (the one with the harpoon), he gets pissed and kills them all with his sailor friends. Yeah, the acting isn't that good and the characters are predictable stereotypes, but when the Alpha is pissed off, the cinema is top notch. When bad guys get owned on the high seas, they really get owned hard.

Rating: 60%

Get Smart (2008)

This was so horrible. It's like...at the level of a student movie -no worse- like those bullshit movies you're forced to make for English10 because the moron teacher thinks that making you work in a group will inspire cooperation. Surprise, it inspired exploitation, solidified the clique structure, and produced a shitty home movie reeking of grade grubbing desperation instead. That is a good description of this movie, which has Michael from The Office....which is a good start I guess, but goes to hell from there. The acting is childlike. Childlike. Pre-Ritalin children act like this. The characters all have numbers for names and the comedy (as well as the halfway house of a story) was a failure. ZZZZZZ!

Rating: 10%

The Oblongs (2001-2006)

What the fuck is this? This show is fucking disgusting! Who is this targeted at? Kids who want to watch a show about people with birth defects? Kids who think these things resemble actual human beings? God damnit I feel sick. I have never been so ill effected by something on TV in my life. Ill bet that if you watched these shows consistently you would turn into a total schizophrennneeewaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Rating: 0%