Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Last of the Mohicans (1992)


Thanks Hulu, now I can watch another really old movie that got bypassed when I was a kid. This is one of those old style films that I don't really understand. How do I interpret this? I see gangs of Injuns killing hundreds of redcoats and collecting their scalps, a scene that probably elicited raucous cheers from the audience.

Okay cool. Next I see a wilderness warrior singlehandedly kill an entire battalion of tomahawk soldiers just to save one white woman. This is totally acceptable because she is the only white woman on the frontier worth procreating with. You've got to understand how important the child bearers are in this society. If that woman dies, everyone is fucked, and the colonialists will go extinct. The Mohicans are proof of that fact. There are only 2 of them left and they're both men! That's why it is ethical to kill 30 Iroquois to save the female. I suppose people find this movie romantic because so many whites have partial native American ethnicity. I find that disgusting. The white man not only took your land but also raped your women. Always remember that, Chief.

Weak story and characters that nobody cares about, but a memorable gore content makes this a good movie in 1992 and a faggoty movie in 2009.
Rating: 30%

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