"I Want to Be a Doctor"

Lots of people wish they were doctors, and hey, it shouldn't be a surprise. I get to talk to a lot of smart people that have public health aspirations.(and a lot of idiots that want to be doctors because of medical TV shows)
This is a slant of the career choice that no med school jockey can tell you: Economic trends explain why we have such an intense fixation with Doctors and what will happen in the near future.

AUTONOMY AND CHOICE

The Medical Doctor is a job with a high degree of self-autonomy. Especially in private practice, an MD has the freedom to make decisions with little direction from above. Even lawyers and politicians, despite higher prestige and salary, do not have the latitude that doctors enjoy. Thus, being a doctor is very desirable.(especially to those that desire power and influence)


CYCLICAL SUPPLY OF DOCTORS

For some reason, Doctors come in waves. In a continuous cycle, a shortage of MDs is always followed by an excess number, followed by another period of scarcity. Right now, we demand more doctors than we have hanging around, and our affection for them shows during primetime television.

LIMITING THE SUPPLY OF DOCTORS

Requiring that doctors receive licensing has legally limited the number of practitioners to 1% of the population and no more. By doing this, MDs not only increase their wage, but also make the process of becoming a doctor extremely expensive and intensely competitive. Job security.

While there are many reasons that someone may chose to pursue doctorship, these 3 probably explain a great deal of that motive and the flood of pre-meds that inundates us. Although, it should be noted that this doesn't say anything about how many of those pre-meds are going to make it. Only the passage of time tells that.

Hitman(2007)

Timothy Olyphant gets Mass Murderer status. Here come the infinite spawning security guards. AUGH RELOAD GAME.

HITMAN DOES NOT HAVE LENGTHY NEGOTIATIONS WITH PEOPLE.
HITMAN DOES NOT BUY PEOPLE DINNER.
HITMAN DOES NOT KEEP DUAL MACHETES IN HIS WAISTCOAT.

HITMAN DOES NOT SAY ONE LINERS BEFORE HE KILLS. HE DOES IT SILENTLY AS IN "SILENT ASSASSIN".

HITMAN DOES NOT USE SEXUAL INNUENDO.
HITMAN DOES NOT TORTURE PEOPLE IN BATHTUBS WITH SAW III STYLE SHIT.

HITMAN DOES NOT ASK USELESS QUESTIONS LIKE "WHY IS THERE A HIT ON ME?".

HITMAN DOES NOT LUST.

HITMAN DOES NOT HAVE A FETISH FOR FACIAL TATTOOS THATS JUST RETARDED.

DIANA DOES NOT TALK IN A SYNTH VOICE.

THERE ARE NOT DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF HITMAN. THERE IS NOT A BLACK HITMAN OR AN ATROPHIED OLD HITMAN. THERE'S JUST ONE GUY NAMED 47.

HITMAN DOES NOT BUY PROPERTY FOR PEOPLE OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF HIS HEART.

HITMAN DOES NOT MAKE STUPID FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN FIBRE WIRING PEOPLE.

HITMAN DOES NOT SIGH IN REMORSE AFTER KILLING SOMEONE.


Hmmm...Uhh...I'm not sure. Maybe it is just the gamma. What about his action shots?


YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG

HITMAN DOES NOT ACT CUTE.


Mission Performance:
Your Rating: Shit
Your Notoriety: 100/100

The Market Losers: Firms that Fail

If you follow stock market news, you'll occasionally see some companies get creamed. It is similar to watching the popping of a party balloon: News comes out, euphoria is broken, and the stock implodes. Even familiar and long-standing firms eat shit sometimes, but hey, you never know what will happen next month, right?
Here are some tickers that I have been keeping track of that have slid into the very depths of hell. Don't worry tho, it's nothing serious. Remember, for every investor that lost money here, someone else out there made an equivalent amount.

FORD MOTOR CO

My, how the mighty have fallen. There was once a time when The American People wanted to drive trucks because they resembled rocks, but then Asian cars came and did it so much better. Well...that's what happens when your revenue/share is -$4.00.

VONAGE CORP

This company never got a break. Since their 2006 IPO open at $17, their shares have done nothing but slide. As I write this, VG is at a measly $2.13. What do they make, anyway? Voice-over IP? Scam.
Not only is VG muddled in lawsuits, but the Vonage pyramid scheme shows up on campus from time to time, using flashy presentations and advertising glamor to say: You too can make money off VoIP...for a modest investment of around $500...in cash.

GENELABS TECHNOLOGIES

Genelabs or whatever this company is called, produces....uhhh....hmmmmmmm
This is a perfect example of a "hype company" that gained investment popularity because they have a mysterious name and an exciting sounding product. Not helping is the 1999-2000 bubble that resulted in the large price spike at $53. That spike shows up in lots of price charts, but Genelabs in particular, was lifted high and then got dropped hard.

WASHINGTON MUTUAL

Among the banks to take a dive during the recent credit crisis is Washington Mutual, which for some reason, has become particularly unfavorable with shareholders. Nobody likes WM right now. Nobody. Maybe it has something to do with Cramer going berzerk on Mad Money and insulting the yield on Washing Mutual.

HALLIBURTON CORP

They're actually doing quite well. On the other hand, liberals claim that this company is pilfering Iraq. Take a look for yourself: The vertical blue line marks the start date of the war, and 5 years later, the current price is about $40. Not bad, but it's nothing special. This also happens to be the company formerly run by VP Dick Cheney so you can pretty much assume it's full of lies and slimy financial manipulation.
What would happen to HAL if the war suddenly ended and everyone went home? Probably something shady and imperialist, at best.

I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry (2007)

Fuck this movie for trying to be funny and politically correct at the same time. How do you have a movie that tries to make a joke about the main character's son being an obvious homo, and then spend the rest of the movie trying to make a political statement about how homos shouldn't be laughed at? Every other character in this movie comes out as a secret gay guy by the end of it. It came to the point that when a new character was introduced, the people I was watching this with went "Is that guy gay too? Is he???" Probably.

Here's a character cheat sheet for those with bad gaydar or who don't watch the E! channel.

Fat guy who plays Chuck: Pretending to be gay for health benefits.
Adam Sandler: Also pretending to be gay (but by the end of the movie I was wondering if he was going to be bisexual or something)
Chuck's Son: Really fucking gay.
Chuck's daughter: Gender ambiguous.
Their boss, Dan Ankroyd: Not gay, but not funny either.
Rob fucking Schneider: Gay, also doing the worst impression of an asian man since Jerry Lewis.
Big black guy: Big black closeted gay man who becomes a flamer by the movie's end.
Jessica Alba: A lawyer, which is complete bullshit. Putting this hot a chick in this gay a movie cancels out both ends of the spectrum and makes the whole movie feel like eating plain yogurt.
Her brother: FUCKING GAY FAGGOT

Hai guys my lungs r full of Co2, but u can still see mai faic lolol

This movie taught me that gays are people too, even though they dress up like butterflies and buy nothing but KY jelly when they go to the store. Also that firefighters go fight fire every single day, hang off the sides of fire engines when they go to a fire like they did in the 1850's, don't wear their breathing apparatus in a smoke and flame-filled building (unless someone farts!), and half of them are gays.

I now pronounce you Suck and Fairy

SATSUXBALLS SAYS:

EDIT: WOW YOU GOT ME. NICE RAID. DID YOU ACTUALLY THINK OF THIS ONE YOURSELF? GROWING BOY!

ARNOLD SAYS:

"You can't win dis."