Timothy Olyphant gets Mass Murderer status. Here come the infinite spawning security guards. AUGH RELOAD GAME.
HITMAN DOES NOT HAVE LENGTHY NEGOTIATIONS WITH PEOPLE.
HITMAN DOES NOT BUY PEOPLE DINNER.
HITMAN DOES NOT KEEP DUAL MACHETES IN HIS WAISTCOAT.
HITMAN DOES NOT SAY ONE LINERS BEFORE HE KILLS. HE DOES IT SILENTLY AS IN "SILENT ASSASSIN".
HITMAN DOES NOT USE SEXUAL INNUENDO.
HITMAN DOES NOT TORTURE PEOPLE IN BATHTUBS WITH SAW III STYLE SHIT.
HITMAN DOES NOT ASK USELESS QUESTIONS LIKE "WHY IS THERE A HIT ON ME?".
HITMAN DOES NOT LUST.
HITMAN DOES NOT HAVE A FETISH FOR FACIAL TATTOOS THATS JUST RETARDED.
DIANA DOES NOT TALK IN A SYNTH VOICE.
THERE ARE NOT DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF HITMAN. THERE IS NOT A BLACK HITMAN OR AN ATROPHIED OLD HITMAN. THERE'S JUST ONE GUY NAMED 47.
HITMAN DOES NOT BUY PROPERTY FOR PEOPLE OUT OF THE GOODNESS OF HIS HEART.
HITMAN DOES NOT MAKE STUPID FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN FIBRE WIRING PEOPLE.
HITMAN DOES NOT SIGH IN REMORSE AFTER KILLING SOMEONE.
Hmmm...Uhh...I'm not sure. Maybe it is just the gamma. What about his action shots?
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
HITMAN DOES NOT ACT CUTE.
Mission Performance:
Your Rating: Shit
Your Notoriety: 100/100
3 comments:
Ok, I watched this twice, and actually the second time it wasn't that bad. Almost alright.
He didnt play hitman enough.
Timothy Olymphant will die.
Blood cannot be unspilt.
Yeah, the first time was full of hate for Olyphant, but the second time, just forget it's Olyphant and imagine 47's real face there. As soon as I got over that hurdle, the movie was pretty entertaining.
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