Jericho: The first 5 episodes

This show is an amazing disappointment to me as a connoisseur of post-nuclear fiction. When talking of such things, you have to go back to the classics: The Mad Max trilogy, Red Dawn, When the Wind Blows, the miniseries The Day After (which actually convinced a befuddled President Reagan that limited nuclear war was, in fact, not the greatest idea), and more recently the computer game Wasteland and the Fallout series.

Post-nuclear fiction envisions a near-future or present in which nuclear war has occurred, and modern civilization has ceased to exist. The most chilling part of this kind of fiction is that it is in no way fantasy: it is a reality that could happen at any time. At this moment there are tens of thousands of thermonuclear weapons primed to launch themselves all over the globe, turning the greatest population centers on Earth into glass wastelands.

Of course, a little artistic license is always expected. You're unlikely to find yourself fighting off rad-scorpions or ghouls in the glowing wastes in the aftermath of an attack. Jericho attempts to realistically depict what happens to a small-town Kansas community after a mushroom cloud appears over the Western horizon, followed by a cloud of dust that used to be Denver.

The good parts of this series are in moments like this, where insurmountable and at times inconceivable problems start to pop up to afflict the town of Jericho: a storm front sweeps over from Denver bearing radioactive fallout and the city's shelters aren't up to the task, a prison bus transporting murderers crashes and sets them free after the attack, a kid finds a message on his answering machine from his mother which records her being killed by a nuclear blast...and she wasn't in Denver. These are the promised results of an excellent premise.

Where the show falls flat on its face is in its most important part: the characters. Rarely believable, generally obnoxious and frequently stupid, they remind you instantly that you're watching a cross between a decent show and an O.C. ripoff. And the show is so hackneyed and poorly-planned that major holes keep cropping up.

Here are some major ones:
-They're in Kansas. How come everyone sounds, looks and acts like they're from L.A.? In the show's defense, he mayor sounds slightly Southern, but why the fuck does his son sound Canadian? Absolutely no one is a hick or redneck, although some of the actors might be trying, unsuccessfully, to appear rural.

-Your country just got nuked. Why does no one seem to care that much? The teens of the town act like they're going to the mall or fretting about their first kiss. The adults still hang out at the local bar...EVERY SPARE SECOND OF THE DAY. The bartender says herself that the generator running the bar takes 90 gallons of gas a day, the same as the hospital. Why the fuck is it still open?

-Jericho apparently is a town with a population of 5000...and zero ugly people. Everyone's either a JC Penny's model or plotting to become one.
-In a town of 5000, only 12 people actually matter. Whenever something happens (the TV in the bar finally shows something, the Mayor is saying something important), they're already there. Creepy.

-Black McGuyver. The one black man in town knows everything about everything...sort of. He can fix any machine, is sending shit to satellites from his laptop in the back yard, and explains to the dumber viewers how hydrogen bombs work ("They literally...EXPLODE the AIR.") Um, whatever man. Whenever he offers help, though, he gets told to fuck off (somewhat realistically...it IS Kansas.) However, he's really some kind of secret agent or something, so his family isn't allowed to even go to the store. What the fuck is he trying to accomplish? The show is loath to show you.

-Sometimes in the crowd scenes, there's an Asian or, randomly, another black man. You never see these people again. Sometimes they're replaced by a random Indian woman or something. It's really jarring.

-The scenes in episode 5 where the firefighters are trying to stop blazes around town are completely idiotic and wrong in so many ways I can't list them all. Here's the main one. YOU DON'T SEND HALF YOUR FIRE ENGINES AND PERSONNEL TO A CITY IN ANOTHER STATE THAT JUST GOT NUKED. IT'S SOMEWHAT INEFFECTUAL.

So, don't be like me and keep watching a somewhat decent but ultimately stupid show just because they dangle good scenes at the beginning and end like carrots. Watch and play the classics instead!

The Day After (1983, whole movie) The aftermath of nuclear war between the US and the Soviets. Survivors in rural Kansas and Minnesota suffer the effects of nuclear winter.

When the Wind Blows (Animated, 1986, whole movie) An doddering English couple survive nuclear war, only to slowly succumb to the effects of radiation. Caution: depressing and haunting as hell.

Mad Max - Beyond Thunderdome (1985) The train escape scene.

Red Dawn (1984) WOLVERINES!!!

Fallout (1997) Intro movie.