GAY okay so this is another Wuxia movie with famous Chinese celebrities that dress in ridiculous armor, but with a twist: They throw in one white guy.
The story starts with a dumbed down version of Sun WuKong for kids, but instead of being imprisoned by the palm of Buddha, the Monkey King is defeated by this "Jade Warlord". The white guy falls into possession of Sun WuKong's magic staff and must use it to resurrect him. The problem is that he keeps getting stopped by imperial soldiers with ridiculous armor and is hunted by an Asian dominatrix with wispy white hair.
Jet Li and Jackie Chan are there to protect whitey with idiot-style shaolin arts and to teach him how to "get some Gung Fu". After kicking him around for a little bit, he goes to fight the Jade Emperor. Fighting ensues, and after a protracted battle, a blundering idiot with a stupid face saves China from tyranny.However, the story does not end there. After being returned to his own dimension, he uses his newfound fighting power to put down a gang of thugs that has been bugging him. Then he makes friends with the owner of a Chinese pawn shop and gets noticed by the reincarnation of an orphaned girl whose life he failed to save in the timeline that he was in and blah blah blah
"Bullshit. If a white guy appeared in ancient China, they would've thought he was a ghost, killed him, and made dumplings out of his flesh."
Rating: 40%
2 comments:
China will grow larger
Mother Nature is trying hard to control populations but humanity is like a cancer
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