When looking for movies online you often get a dichotomy of very old and very new. Following the release of a new movie, people post them everywhere, despite the movie industry's vigilant attempts to remove them. Older movies, while uploaded much less often by their niche fangroups, do not get targeted by piracy police, causing them to build up over time on the internet.
Such is the case with many early Sylvester Stallone movies. This one starts in a super fucked up city (caption says "Los Angeles, 1996") that's rife with mega-crime. Shit is on fire and all these people are getting killed, so Stallone steps in to administer justice. Just 20 minutes into the plot, and Stallone is convicted of manslaughter for failing to save the hostages and gets sentenced to 70 years in a cryogenic prison. His mass murdering nemesis (Wesley Snipes) gets the same sentence. Upon their release, they wake up to a crime-free society where everyone is a huge wuss. The cops are too nerfed to stop Wesley Snipes so they bring in tuff guy Stallone.
Basically, this started as a Rambo movie and quickly turned into Judge Dredd. The people all talk like school children and Stallone is the only remotely normal person. Every time he says "FUCK", a buzzer in the background goes off and says "John Spartan you have been fined one credit for violation of the verbal morality statute", but he just keeps talking like nothing happened. Then he follows Wesley Snipes into the museum of guns where all the plasma rifles are loaded, and they fight in the Hall of Violence while making funny insults at each other. Yeah. Stallone's voice is funny too.
Rating: 75%
1 comment:
I'll watch anything with crysostasis
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