Would you medical doctors just

stop fucking using statistics as evidence in your medical research? Just stop. STOP. Stop it. You're going to drive me crazy. Every time you publish some rollerball study about the health benefits of some medical procedure, the media puts it onto a pedestal of everlasting life, which I then have to hear about on the radio. God I swear, everything you do is boring second-rate freshman level sample statistics. A hypothesis test isn't fucking magic. It doesn't explain medical phenomenon just because you double blinded it.

For example, you ask: "Would men who got regular PSA tests have less risk of dying from prostate cancer?". Stupid question. You don't consider the fact that these men would seek your medical tests simply because they have lifestyles conducive to throbbing pain in their testicles? What about the fact that the risk of dying from prostate cancer is directly related to your wellbeing and not directly related to having tubules inserted into your dickhole?

Yet, completely disregarding anything else and focusing only on your brilliant testicular exam, you go ahead and throw that statement out there. Yes, take this test, otherwise there is an additional X% chance that we will have to amputate your balls.

What happened to finding out why people get that kind of cancer? I'm talking about real medical science and not the excel file full of test subjects from the homeless shelter that you paid $20 to experiment on. Why don't you do real physiological studies rather than spend 10 years updating a mailing list? That's not medicine, and that's certainly not what a bunch of morons walking around a candlelit track and field paid for.

But the real insult is that you actually think that these statistics are a breakthrough worth reporting on the news. That you actually think this will lead to medicinal progress. In your own words, that it will "save lives", whatever that means. Why don't you actually spend your time trying to figure out how that shit works rather than hiding behind a veil of statistical significance, while making everybody think about their impending death by crotch rot.