Jurassic Park Survival
I used to play this game with fervor, desperately trying to survive in a jungle filled to the brim with dinosaurs and flies and sometimes stuff from the Pleistocene epoch. In my effort, I constructed great walls of electric fence, massive gun towers, research facilities, I mined the earth and ripped down the forests to consume the resources I needed to ensure my survival. But I would always fail. In the end, the reptiles would also overrun me. Then I realized, hey I don't really need to survive on my own: I just need to make sure everyone else DOESN'T survive. So with a cordial smile, I reach out to other survivors and with a generous hand, I construct for them a much needed gun turret, right in the middle of their base. Whats that noise? THE GUN TURRET IS GOING HAYWIRE RUNNN BEFORE IT TK'S YOU NOOO. Aw...shit. Should have run.
Rating: 3/5
I am Legend Survival
One of many zombie survival variants but better. You gotta keep the zombies off your ass before daybreak and to survive, you have to work together. I am ignoring the fact that Will Smith was the "last man on earth" because this allows you to TK and justify it by quoting Will Smith.
Rating: 3/5
Island Defense
This game represents a bunch of weird WC3 mods called Vampirism or Sheep Tag or whatever. I don't care. I all I know is that Justin is really good at griefing this. Fucking this game up is extremely complex, involving a variety of builds, hiding tactics, verbal duplicity, and sleeper cell TKs. Damn, I want to play Myst.
Rating: -/5
Anime Fight
This picture pretty much sums it up. It's basically like DOTA but rather than lanes, you fight on a big battlefield. I just went around as a Spike Speagle laying remote mines all over the place, but it got old because I couldn't ignore the fact that Spiku does not look like a troll spearthrower. Lame.Rating: 1/5
DBZ Tribute Extreted
I know this sounds stupid for a WC3 mod but I gotta tell you, this is the best shit ever. All the skins got modded into dbz characters and you go around doing exactly what they do in the show: Power up for a long time and then fight for 2 seconds. The best part is that this is actually a serious game that "DBZ Tribute Pros" play and if you suck at it they will call you a n00b and "send you to another dimension". What the hell does "Extreted" even mean?Rating: 5/5
4 comments:
New low-effort way to grief Island Defense I've been doing:
When you join a game, make sure you are the Titan. Then, when the game starts and it's time for you to choose a titan, DO NOT PICK ONE. The game only ends when the builders kill the titan, but if no titan is selected, then the game is impossible to be won.
Eventually the builders will realize that no Titan has spawned and they will start bitching. REALLY IMPORTANT: to prolong the game (because they will start leaving if they think you are AFK), just tell eveyrone that you are giving the builders and extra head start by not selecting a Titan. If they ask why, just say that you've won every game as Titan and you want a challenge by giving them and extra head start.
The game can be prolonged even more by bragging about your skills/insulting their skills at the game. Remember the second rule of griefing: the angrier they get, the longer they stay.
Late game: If the game goes on long enough, the builders will just say pick a Titan or they will leave. To extend the game in this situation, just say "Ok I've picked". Make them think it's some kind of wierd bug in the game, and keep asserting that your titan has spawned. One of my favorite lines is "WTF? I've killed like 5 bases already".
The most important thing to do is never pick a titan no matter what. Even if they all leave out of fustration, you have won.
Hey The dean of Stanford University just called. They said they want to take you on as professor of Griefing Studies and Internet Justice and want you to start designing a class for elementary trolling right away. Give them a call.
Yeah and when you get your Doctorate you are allowed to start playing DOTA
I really liked your article.
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