Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Stealth (2005)

I'm going to blog this movie while I watch it.

A bunch of futuristic planes are engaged in close combat with anti-aircraft turrets. Looks like some shit from Command and Conquer. This movie was called "Stealth" right?

The main characters are taking a clothing optional vacation in the tropics. Jamie Foxx is hitting on an Asian chick in a rice paddy. Character development is occurring.

The computer fighter pilot(ED1) just gained self-awareness and went rogue. It's going around destroying shit to justify its existence. Bares great resemblance to HAL9000.

Holy shit! Jamie Foxx just got killed. ED1 completely owned his ass.

ED1 just blew up this massive in-flight refueling airship.

ED1 just kicked the Russian Federation's ass.
Uh theres some kind of conspiracy/loyalty/love arc going on here. What the fuck?

The pilots just got into this huge fight with the North Korean military. ED1 -who is now a good guy- sacrifices itself to save them. Strangely, nobody cares.

Jamie Foxx's funeral. HAHAHAHA

Closing line: "Just tell me you love me, you pussy." The remaining main characters all have have horrific combat scars on their faces.

Rating: 40%
That was not what I expected. Not even close. This is not an April Fools Day joke, at least, it wasn't meant to be.

3 comments:

Frankenstein said...

Insane north korean sniper is a pimp

Anonymous said...

i bet they are training nuke infantry over there

Anonymous said...

i EDI, poor little guy, wasn't his fault he was re-programmed by a stray bolt of lightning...