You heard me, I'm haxoring your internets!!
Haxoring the internets is easy, if you have the right equipment. No longer do you have to be good with computers, or even relatively intelligent or intuitive. Great news, eh? Far back in geologic time, hackers used to have to be computer nerds who would slave over millions of lines of code at their sorry little workstations just to steal your PIN number in order to get cash to buy more hentai. Nowadays, thanks to the advent of super-futuristic wi-fi devices (which any idiot who's tired of tripping on wires can get at the super Wal*Mart and plug into the phone jack), the internets are easier to steal than ever.
I remember when it would take days for the plumber to show up and install the internets pipe into the house, and even then the internets pressure would be terrible on the upstairs floor. Now, thanks to insane space-age technology utilizing a combination of infra-red, X and advanced radio waves, you can just plug a linksys router into the wall and spread the internets all over the general vicinity for all to enjoy. And I do mean ALL. And by that I mean ME.
linksys n00bs are easy to hax.
It's kind of like a rich man installing a fountain that shoots not water but molten gold. Sure, the rich guy can enjoy his molten gold from the fountain instead of an inconvenient spigot in his harem, but what happens when all the poor people start running up with pots and pans and upturned hats to catch the precious metal from the sky as it sprays all over? We keep it, that's what.
A hi-gain antenna is basically the poor man's upturned hat of the internets world. Having one entitles the user to feast on the luscious internets that flow freely from the homes and businesses of others. Point the thing at a random window, hit "refresh" until you get a good one, and connect away.
Here are some tips for the layman internets stealer. No pipe wrenches or excavating necessary!
1. You need an antenna with a built-in wireless card. Hawking tech makes a bunch of these, all of which look pretty pimp and are fun to aim at peoples' houses. Hawking tech is like the guy in the game Thief: The Dark Project who supplies you with water arrows in return for some of your loot. He's helping you steal, but he wants a piece of the action himself.
2. You need a computer. The internets doesn't just download porn directly into your pants, you need a monitor to actually see it.
3. You need a mark. Your antenna will find one, rest assured. The name of the mark you've found is a good indicator of how much internets you'll be able to steal from them without them noticing.
Good marks:
linksys (encryption off)
d-link (encryption off)
NETGEAR (encryption off)
sammysfirstwifi<3 (encryption off)
420 numba1stunna (encryption off)
plz give me internet u fuckin router (encryption off)
Bad marks:
Notyourfuckinghotspot (encryption on)
idareyoutoconnect (encryption off)
FBI Seattle 5th Floor Blue Sector Router (encryption on)
1337GhostHacker1337 (encryption on)
I watch the lights on my router go on when you turn on your computer you little shit a.k.a. the next door neighbor (encryption off)
Not surprisingly, this entire post was sent to you over stolen internets! Better purge your cookies, you don't want to be indicted when I go down. Happy wifi hunting.
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