Felony Fights

I like watching a good fight. Through online videos, I can see any sort of fight I want, from professional million dollar matches to angst filled street fights. Most of the time, I can analyze the fight sequences and comment on interesting maneuvers, and I have only one thing to say about Felony Fights: "It Sucks".

They collect actual felons for underground matches, starting with introductions on crimes committed, and people killed, and such, and then let the felons brawl in remote outback locations. Usually the sequence is ugly, sloppy, and shamefully blunt. For people plastered with tattoos and other body art, they're surprisingly lacking in physical groove. Maybe they like shanks better. Techniques favored in boxing and wrestling, though common in street fights, rarely come into play in convict fights.

However, the felons do excel at voracious amounts of brutality and pride, producing a dull fight sequence but fierce shit talking (although terse and excessively low-brow) and very intense injuries. Mutilation generally isn't a big deal for hard cons with little to lose in life, and it's the part that the spectators favor most, flocking around the maimed and cawing like crows. The big winners are people that film and sell this series on black market, a great example of the mysterious entrepreneurship that powers the ghetto.

Visual Stimulation: 20%
Action Packing: 60%